Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I enjoy the company of your penis
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
