Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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