I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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