I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
