That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Never underestimate the power of titties
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