My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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