I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
