The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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