i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
