Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
