My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
