his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
love makes seman taste better
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
