Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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