Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
