After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
