Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize