Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
