Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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