Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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