I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
