Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
