the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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