Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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