Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
