Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
