True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
