Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
