if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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