thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
