see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
