11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
