We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
one might say we're banned from that church
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
