yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize