you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
