on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You're a waste of cheezeits
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
