He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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