Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
