everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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