I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
