are you still at the devil's house?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Success! We fucked roommates!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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