nut hugger
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
