These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
