i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize