You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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