Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
