Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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