There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Randomize
