Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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