I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
