I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
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