I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
