Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
