i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
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