Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
