oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
