walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
