Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i wish my penis had a tongue
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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