Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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